In an attempt at doing Psych reading today, that was sufficit to say not ALL that successful, I came across a fact about linguistics: there are more combinations of unique words that combine to form unique sentences that we can use in our everyday lives than we can possibly use in a lifetime. That sentence is most likely an example. The minute I saw that, all hope for a schoolwork filled afternoon finally ceased as I began to attempt to prove that theory wrong. Anything that I can say in my life I WILL say in my life! However, as I started to do some creative writing, I realized that even in my pomposity I knew that psychological fact had significant meaning. Thus, even though I will never be able to reach my FULL lingusitic capability, I will certainly do the best job I know how! Look out for a myriad of new poetry and (hopefully) original thoughts in the coming days, weeks, and months. You will be inspired to write poetry of your own; or you will be bored out of your skull and return to your game of Tetris on Facebook. Either way, you will find some way to make your online activity productive. I promise you that.

Real Reform

REAL REFORM

From the darkness came the light;

From the weakness came the might.

You're tied down, fed up, pushed to the side.

You're an unstoppable dynamo with way too much pride.

But you know that in life it's either righteousness or sin.

And if you're not sweating, you're not at the gym.

Not everything is just as it seems, and every so often, you've got to get a little mean.

The world is not unfair, it's the people in it that can make you feel so square.

So buckle down if you want to have a fighting chance;

And if you head on down to the clubs, just make sure that you know how to dance.

Play the game and learn how to conform;

In this life, there's no such thing as real reform.

Ourselves Alone

Coming out of my first major relationship, I feel a great mixture of feelings: remorse, sadness, regret, anger, overall confusion, and sheer pain to name the most obvious ones. I always convinced myself that my girlfriend was the perfect living embodiment of what I wanted in a woman. I never stopped to consider that although she may have been my first love, she was not necessarily going to last. We all have constructs in our minds that we develop out of fear of the unknown and the desire to be comfortable and secure. It is only when we step out of these constructs, tear them down, and take a look at our lives from a non-biased perspective that we can really begin to understand why events like break-ups happen. Sometimes we just have to stop, breathe, and take it all in--- don't think, judge, or regret in that moment. As human beings, we are certainly built for such judgmental ways. When things go wrong in the world, it either has to be our own fault or someone else's--- when in actuality, it can just be. Not everything in life works perfectly--- namely because most things in life are controlled by human beings who are by nature imperfect. While the notion that all things happen for a reason is certainly true, why they are necessary to US is something that is far less obvious. Prior to meeting my first girlfriend, I was unsure what love is all about: I barely even knew how to talk to someone of the opposite sex who was my age! I've always been a people person, and I've always enjoyed listening to and talking with people of diverse backgrounds with different stories--- but the concept of a girlfriend was just too far-fetched for me to think about. Then it just happened, and it seemed like everything fell into place. Throughout the course of my relationship I learned what it's like to love someone for who they are, what it's like to compromise and what it's like to be a compassionate, supportive boyfriend. When it all came crumbling apart, and the reason for the break-up was because my significant other didn't always see these qualities in me and when she did they were overbearing and in a sense self-serving, it came time for me to seriously re-examine who I was as a person. I'm still sorting it all out, but as I sit here tonight writing this blog, I somehow get chills thinking: this is identity-forming. This is a game-changing event in my life that will teach me about myself and will provide me with a better sense of the areas for improvement I can potentially work on in future relationships--- whether with a new girlfriend, a friend, or a family member. These are the moments of my life that I will always be able to look back to and say to myself "How did I get from there to here"? If today I am a vivacious, resilient, loving soul who understands that everyone who is put into my life by the grace of God somehow fits into the bigger picture, tomorrow I will be able to wake up saying "You know, that's a pretty good revelation I had the other day." Then maybe the next day I'll decide on the spur of the moment to join a new club and make a few new friends, or become better friends with people I may have never thought of becoming really good friends with. Then maybe the next day I will fall in love again--- with a person, a place, an ideal, a concept, a song, a film, or maybe even someone I may have lost sight of a long time ago: myself. Only when we recognize our own self-worth and virtue can we truly appreciate the dynamic, constantly changing world around us. It may be impossible to stop, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy the ride. As Doc Brown keenly noted at the end of Back to the Future Part III: "The future's what you make of it. So make it a good one." No one can predict the future, or change the past: but anyone can live for today and realize that although we have to constantly adjust to our new paradigms, as long as we are comfortable living in our own skin, we have nothing to fear and no cause for apology.

Christmas

Well, it is officially two days after Christmas but for the first time in as long as I can remember, it doesn't feel like Christmas has magically disappeared after 11:59 pm on December 25th. It feels like the spirit is still in the air, which I find to be great. First off, I didn't even feel like Christmas was approaching at all this year with all the hecticness of final exams coming to an end on December 22nd. By the time I got home there were only two full days left until Christmas. And for my family, Christmas begins on Christmas Eve, so I effectively had one day to get myself in the spirit (and to do some last minute city Christmas shopping). Then it came upon me "like a tidal wave" and suddenly I felt myself filled with the spirit. I didn't care about gifts or money as much as I did about re-connecting with my family and sharing stories with them about old times and new times. It was good to finally just be able to relax and let the spirit of Christmas guide me through the holiday. I think that's what Christmas should always be about. Back with more later...

About The Hiatus...

Last post you'll find here I was promising to deliver the third part of my time-travel rant early in the second week of June. So yeah... epic fail on my part. This would be just about the eightieth time on this blog that I would be apologizing for my slacking. But this time... I'm not saying sorry. Mainly because I'm writing this to a very small audience (if any), but also because the past three months have been kind of hectic for me to say the least. By that, I mean, I was transitioning from confused high school graduate to even more confused college newcomer--- not that I was especially busy throughout the summer, but just... distracted I guess. Welcoming the thoughts of my future college experience (which I'm now living out here in Loudonville, NY at Siena College). So that's the reason for my lack of blogging all summer long. Eventually I probably will try to decipher the time travel theories for a third time but first I need to re-familiarize myself with the theories I was trying to prove, which is a very time-consuming process (at least for me). So don't hold your breath. This post right now is mainly concerned with these logistical issues that I'm not saying sorry for, so if you saw this new entry and got super excited for more of my ingenius insight, then you already stopped reading. If you are reading this far, however, you deserve SOMETHING. So just for you... here's an update on my college experience.
I arrived in Loudonville with my fair share of hesitation and anxiety, but with a greater amount of hope and excitable energy that I think even rubbed off on some of my family. The campus was just as I remembered it, except now it was a bit more hectic. Kinetic energy abounded. Nervous students flocked to get their room keys; agitated parents unloaded refrigerators and TVs from their cars; my grandmother sat in the rented van with a window cracked like a dog (the way she wanted it). My new life, little did I know, had officially begun. I met people that day who were complete strangers. A day later, we were inseparable. We knew each other since birth, or at least so it seemed. I joked around with them like I would with my own family. Two days later, we were going to the mall and to the movies together. Giant games of Apples to Apples ensued; running around from dorm to dorm to dorm; having dinner with so many people it made my family's Thanksgiving dinner table look small. A new family started. I met brilliant professors who have already made an impact on me. My room really isn't as bad as a jail cell. The food here is pretty great. But all of that means nothing without having people to share it with. I consider myself lucky to have such great people to begin the most important journey of my life with. And in the immortal words of Mr. Sherman Klump, "Good morning!"

The Gameplan

2 posts in one day... I'm busy (and bored) tonight. This is just a quick update about what's going on here at Resistance of Salvation headquarters (by headquarters I mean my laptop in my bedroom) in the coming week. Last week I made some promises about what I would be posting on the blog each day, which kind of didn't work out so I'm not going to do that again this week, and probably never again. I'm not a very organized person, and I'm definitely a procrastinator so I tend to put off tasks I assign for myself until I feel like doing them... which I'm sure will help me immensely in college. So anywho, here's a quick rundown on what I may try to do this week. I definitely will finish up my time travel series hopefully early on in the week. I really never imagined it would be so hard to write about the time travel theories as presented in the Back to the Future trilogy and the Terminator world, but it's pretty damn confusing so I've split it up into a few separate blog entries. Third, and final, entry is coming at you in the very near future. I also promised to do 2 other Terminator related entries last week which I never got to. Rest assured, those will be delivered as promised, again, sometime early this week (hopefully). And, of course, any spur of the moment ideas I come up with that I think will make for fascinating viewing will pop up on your computer screens as well. May also do a couple things on college life this week... expectations, etc. We shall see. So the basic message I'm trying to convey is "That Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with, it can be reasoned with, and it absolutely will not stop... ever... until you are dead." Oh, right, I was talking about what's going on at the Blog this week. Hard to believe I'm such a disorganized writer, huh? Good when I put my mind to it though... and, yeah, seriously, that Terminator is ripped. I would hand over my clothes if he asked me to. Otherwise, he may kind of, well, kill you in cold blood and imitate your voice on the phone. I'll be back... and sooner than you'd like me to be.

Here At The Crossroads of Time

I'm still a little bit shellshocked that I'm a high school graduate. I've been one for a good 32 hours now, but still can't get over it. It's just like, wow, it's all over. Completely. The past couple of years all's I've been talking about is how much I can't wait for college and how much I wanted out of high school. But now it's all starting to come to me... I'm going to miss it. I'm not saying I think I should spend another year in high school... I've paid my dues (in the form of IB exams and Extended Essay), and I deserved that diploma. But what gets me is that the teachers that mentored me throughout all of this... are no longer going to be a part of my life. And neither are my peers from Xaverian High School, except for maybe a couple more get-togethers. Chapter One of my life has officially closed. Chapter Two won't truly begin until September up in Albany... right now we're kind of stuck in the middle. Kinda still in chapter one, kinda in chapter two. So I figured what better way to sort my emotions than right here on my nifty little blog?
Well, as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason. And the purpose of yesterday's commencement was to introduce 350 able in mind, body, and spirit individuals into the world to attempt to change the face of it. Hope for the future was unleashed yesterday... potential. And that's the word I'm going to focus on in this entry... potential. That's what life is all about. We all have the potential to be great--- to live in God's image. To live respectful, yet fun, lives. To venture into life experiences you once thought you'd never have. And that's what college is. A life experience like no other, where the potential is literally limitless. That's what I'm striving for in college, to reach my potential. My one regret in high school was that I waited until around Junior Year to really start being social, and I feel I may've paid for that the past couple of years as I've tried to make my way into the social circles that were already established four years ago. I love you all at Xaverian, but I really do need a fresh start. In many ways, we all do. College is just as much about redemption and renewal as it is partying and having fun. I hope to combine all of these things, actually. That'd make for a great college experience. Always remember your potential can not be used to help you in life until you realize it's there. It's always there. The road to a successful, happy life is just a crossroads away.